First Anniversary

HI,

It's crazy how people come up to you, not because they need your help or something but simply because they want to talk to you. My social life has seen a massive upscale ever since I started writing exactly 325 days ago(its a day late but I'll schedule this blog's date to be of yesterday.) and I love every single moment of it. I have always been that person who craves appreciation and I live for praises, from my family, relatives, and friends. Although I cannot call this popularity, as much as I love that as well, I don't want it now, I believe there is time for everything and popularity now would lead to significant negative impacts on my mental health. I remember, a montg ago, I was talking to one of my classmates, we usually just greet each other, that is all, but while we were in the middle of a conversation with some third person, she literally quoted 4-5 lines from my blog and it made my heart flutter. I know that might sound cheesy but let's admit it did. It made me smile so wide and at that moment I felt worthy. I felt so strong, motivated, and confident, just the fact that there are people out there who give 10 minutes of their busy lives to read something created by you makes you feel a million things. I don't know if people will remember me 10 years down the line but this thing that I am creating today, impacting their lives even in the slightest way possible is an accomplishment far greater than any trophy. I am so grateful to my stars that I found writing and double the amount of gratitude goes to my sister who gave me that last push. If she wouldn't have been there to say that do something different and be the creative one of the family, the laptop would have stayed where it was, and would never have felt the push of my fingers on its keyboard. 

Its mind blowing that I found something so therapeutic and at the same time thrilling. Writing lets me get off this huge burden on my chest and brain. Almost every time it sets off this series of emotions where I feel all of it. It is like a new world except I am alone and I enjoy the solitude. It gives me this boost to conquer the world with my words and keeps me grounded all at the same time. I might be dramatic about it but people who write would relate. I am so grateful that I was successful in creating this space, this audience who puts the same amount of time into reviewing and loving as I do in writing.

I have a lot of fears, we all have. Many of them are small, just noises in the background but then there are other fears, the big ones, the ones that keep me on my toes almost every day, the ones that give me sleepless nights. I might get disillusioned in recognizing the difference between them but they are there. I might never muster up the courage to disclose them to anyone, ever, but it cannot end on its own. I have to do it and writing has helped in words I cannot explain. It does not bind me the way social "formalities" does, it does not enclose me in the cage of Do's and Dont, and it does not make me feel a disappointment. I feel free once I write. So, Thank you for being a part of this journey. Thank you for bringing a positive change to my life. 

Happy One Year to Us! 

I'll catch you in the next one, 

Diana Jean