A Teenager without Teenage

Heyy,

It honestly takes a strong heart to pass your teenage years sanely. I hope even I do.

Being in my prime teen years, I guess it is fair to say that you live a hell of a rollercoaster every single day! It is almost like everything was fine till 12 and suddenly everything gets so sensitive and complicated, mainly because of the pressure and excitement to be in teenage. All of a sudden your preferences change, you want to socialise and be the cool kid, you want to look a certain way and speak fluently, you want your favourite beverage to be coffee and music to be international pop. And no matter how much we say that we are mature and sensible, deep down we still know nothing. All the time we try to be something we are not. We want to hang out, be on insta, drink coffee, listen to music, talk in slang, wear clothes that are in trend, click aesthetic pictures, talk about sex and drugs.

We want to do it all just because others are doing it, we teens get influenced so easily literally by someone who is living in a different country with different circumstances. And I seriously don't get all of it, the sole reason being my sister; she has more rights over my life than my parents. I bet if she would have not been with me I would cry over small things and contemplate how my life is so messed up. And knowing all this does not make me intelligent, it is like everyone else will also realise all of this in the next 5 years, I just got to know it a few years before them. I see my sister and her friends laughing about how they used to overreact and get angry about such small issues and I will also be in the same position after 5-7 years. 

Obviously, even I do all of it to be socially accepted but I never supported it. Even as any teenager reads it he/she/they will not be convinced with all this but it happens and it is a part of your life, you can't really do anything about it. All of your mood swings and the tremendous growth physically and mentally is not under your control. The only thing that I expect from myself in terms of my behaviour is to be kind with my words and not shout at my parents for not understanding me. We all feel like we are messed up and need someone who can hold us, right? but take it the other way, what if, that someone is your own self? what if it is you who can give yourself support and confidence. I think that way and things turn out pretty well. We all have our good days and bad ones but I am grateful that I am getting through it all.

Laughing lamely with friends over chats, gossiping about relatives, ranting about how difficult math is getting, planning my future, loving my body someday and hating it the other day, crying over how unlucky females are to get their periods, and begging my parents to meet my friends. I enjoy it all. Even though none of our lives is like that perfect dream world we imagine, where we imagine the perfect family and perfect romance and perfect best friend, I love it as it is. I like to strive every day, I like texting my friends, arranging calls occasionally, discussing our favourite shows and waiting for the next seasons (NETFLIX PLEASE!). I love how my parents have started considering me responsible, how I have started to have experiences of my own. Own it and enjoy it!

Here is a little note for all the teenagers out there,

I know how dense it gets, every time and every day when you don't know what to choose and whom to call. When you cry in the bathroom with your mouth covered thinking you'll not make it. when you feel horrible for saying something mean to your friend. When you see others and get insecure about your body. When you feel like a failure for not scoring well. I understand all the darkness that resides within, but it all will change. The crazy emotions and feelings will come to rest one day. The stress you have about your future will bear fruit one day. You will feel confident about your body and your decisions one day. And that one fine day you'll know it was all worth it.

 

I'll catch you in the next one, 
Diana Jean.